Here comes the bride!

Two weekends ago, I got the incredible opportunity to visit the hometown of one of my Vietnamese friends. Tam's hometown is in Nam Dinh, which is around 120 kilometers (75 miles) from Hanoi. She graciously invited me to visit her family and to celebrate her sister's wedding! As this was over the long weekend celebrating the Vietnamese Independence day, where many Vietnamese people travel to their hometowns, I was incredibly excited.

This is Tam's (sitting on my right in the white) family. Her older sister is in the plaid, and is the one who got married. Her younger sister is the one in the all black t-shirt. The other girls are two of the many cousins who would arrive over the weekend. The family was incredibly welcoming and kind! They took such good care of me all weekend, and worked so hard to prepare everything for the wedding!

We arrived late on Friday evening. Friday night and Saturday were spent getting everything ready for the wedding (cleaning, cooking, setting up tables/chairs etc), and Tam & I even snuck away for a bit of sightseeing in the village. Here are some pictures of the town!

One of the things you notice right away is the number of churches! Catholicism came to Vietnam during the sixteenth century, and settled in Nam Dinh province. Consequently, the town is absolutely filled with Catholic churches!  Tam's house is situated in between two such churches. Here is the larger of the two, and the location for the upcoming wedding!

Another important aspect of Nam Dinh is that it is a farming community. Vietnam is the second largest exporter of rice, only behind Thailand. Think about walking through MN, but everywhere you would see grass, look for rice!

One of the best parts about the town itself was how non-touristy it was. Although the area where I live of Hanoi is entirely Vietnamese except for our little abode of international volunteers, Hanoi is set up for tourists, particularly in the area known as the "Old Quarter." Visiting Nam Dinh was an entirely different story-apparently I'm one of the only foreigners that Tam can remember who has visited the city! How crazy is that? I attracted a whole lot of attention with my white skin, red curly hair, and height. This even happens to a lesser extent in Hanoi, where people want to touch my arms and hair, and run up excitedly to take my picture, but was much more pronounced in Nam Dinh. I wonder what transitioning back to the MN nice space bubble is going to be like. :D In this picture below, I was talking to a group of around 30 little kids who were clearly very interested in me, but were also quite shy, so they are hiding around the corner. 

On Sunday, there was an engagement ceremony at Tam's family's home. The groom's family traveled from their village to Tam's, and were quite warmly welcomed with music and fireworks (there was a surprisingly high number of firework explosions throughout the wedding!). Around 100-150 guests came over for lunch to celebrate Ha and Truong's wedding. 

Position and age are incredibly important in Vietnam. People often ask you how old you are, in order to determine which person is older. Age, gender and position affect how you address others, and these structure society. Thus, at the wedding, I kept moving around depending on who else was there at the time. It saves time to not have to agonize over seating arrangements ahead of time. :D I got to sit with Tam's cousins, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, and the grooms family at different points throughout the engagement party which was quite fun. 

Similarly, one of the other aspects that struck me was how involved each family, and in particular the male heads of the family were in this ceremony. I'm used to the notion of a wedding being "the brides day." Although arranged marriage isn't common in Vietnam, the family still plays a central role in the wedding, and much care is placed on connecting the families together during the special wedding weekend.  

Pink and red are traditional wedding colors in Vietnam

Monday was the official wedding ceremony.  We got up bright and early to welcome the groom's family and to have a special time of prayer at Tam's house. It was here that the bride and groom were first introduced together. Then, we made our way over to the church for Catholic mass. Then, it was off one an hour long bus ride to the groom's hometown to celebrate lunch there. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding. I really enjoyed getting to spend time with Tam and her family, and will cherish the incredible opportunity I had to visit Nam Dinh and attend this special weekend. :D